India Pt 3: Chapati rock in the house tonight

"I just want to be able to fart with confidence." - Thomas Temple, 2016

And thus became the quote that summarised our time India. After a rather 'explosive' week in Rajasthan, morale was low and patience was waning. Thankfully, we had a lot to look forward to in our last two weeks in India.

We hopped on a 14 hour train from Jaisalmer to Jaipur with a little trepidation, as we had heard some average reviews of Jaipur from other travellers. However, we really liked Jaipur. There were some great restaurants and even an English cinema near our hotel, so we grabbed a pasta and headed off to watch the thought-provoking Disney epic Zootopia in 3D. We were the only people in the cinema other than a rather amorous couple in the back row who weren't particularly interested in the storyline. 

We wandered through the old city the following day, which was predictably chaotic. Tom indulged in eating a couple of pappadams the size of his head at the city palace, before we went to the rather odd observatory and beautiful 'Palace of the Winds'. Later that night we passed on an offer to go clubbing in Jaipur with one of the hostel staff and their cranky friends, instead opting to eat ice cream and watch episodes of Gordon Ramsey's Hells Kitchen on the laptop. After a few expletive-laden tirades from Gordy, it was time to rest up before our adventure to the Amber Fort.

The Amber Fort was perhaps the most impressive fort we visited in all of Rajasthan. The rubbish and hassle factor was low, and the views were stunning. There was a fair bit of climbing required, which again led us to question whether this Everest Base Camp trek was such a good idea. We also had the joy of catching the local bus home. My rugby days in the second row certainly came in handy as we pushed our way into the sardine-can-on-wheels that constituted our lift home. 

A rather impolite hairy tourist giving me the finger at the Amber Fort.

Tom enjoying his super-sized pappadum at the Jaipur City Palace.

Awesome views near the Amber Fort

Next it was off to Agra. Needless to say, we were incredibly excited to check out the Taj Mahal, which is said to be the most beautiful building in the world. But first, we had to catch a rickshaw from the train station to our hotel. We had heard that the hassle factor in Agra was out of control, and it was. Just going outside was an ordeal - the shop owners and rickshaw drivers were relentless and tourist pricing was in full swing. After being dropped at the wrong hotel, we made it to our luxurious lodgings (*cough*) at the Sheela Inn. Considering we were paying $10 a night to stay 750m from the Taj Mahal though, we really can't complain. 

On our first afternoon we headed to the Agra Fort, which was surprisingly awesome. We also went across the river to get a view of the Taj Mahal. Unfortunately, en route Tom also got a view of a grown adult taking a dump on the side of the road, which appears to have scarred him for life. 

It's big and it's red - no it's not Tom Temple, it's the Agra Fort.

The next day we were up at the crack of dawn to see the Taj Mahal. The photos simply can't do it justice. It really is the most beautiful building we have ever seen, and it made all the Agra hassle worthwhile. The Taj Mahal was also a bit sentimental for the two of us, as it was the 7th Wonder of the World we have seen together. Given the occasion, we decided that it would be a good time for a belated 4th wedding anniversary celebration at the Oberoi Hotel. I had my first glass of wine in 2 months and Tom had a foodgasm over the creamy curry prawns. Needless to say, it was worth every cent. 

Hard to imagine how huge the Taj Mahal is until you see it close up! Tom sitting in one of the archways.

Stunning bit of photography by the young Thomas Temple - dawn at the Taj Mahal.

No tourist = awesome photos.

Next it was off to Delhi - India's biggest city. We had heard terrible report from other travellers, but after the rickshaw drivers in Agra it didn't seem so bad! There was heaps to see, with plenty of serene spots to take a break from the craziness outside. The pollution was overwhelming though - we both had itchy eyes and headaches every time we went outside. 

We decided that we had enough of rickshaw drivers and would instead tackle the Delhi Metro. Surprisingly, it was clean, efficient and air conditioned. We were sold! We visited the Lotus Temple, which required lining up and complete silence - a concept many of the local tourists seemed to struggle with but the rules were strictly enforced making it a lovely peaceful visit. 

Tom mixin' it with the locals on the Delhi Metro

Silence and orderly lines - rare gifts at the beautiful Lotus Temple

We also checked out Hanuman's Tomb, Lodhi Gardens, the Red Fort and Jama Masjid (the main mosque in Delhi). Perhaps the highlight though was our final lunch in India at Al Jawahar - a Mughlai restaurant where we went to town on seekh kebabs and tandoori chicken wrapped in naan bread. 

Feeling real safe at the top of the Jama Masjid minaret.

Midday prayer time at Jama Masjid

A quite Saturday afternoon in Old Delhi...

Hanuman's Tomb in New Delhi

Finally, it was time to fly out to Kathmandu for our next adventure in Nepal. In sum India: we love you and we hate you. We have seen some of the greatest places in the world, but also had some of the hardest travel days we can remember.

Yeah/Nah Index

Jaipur - Yeah

Agra - Yeah defs

New Delhi - Yeah but try to visit at the end so the craziness doesn't do your head in!

India Pt 2: There ain't no chapati like an S Club chapati

Very much in the tone of the last post, the stories contained within this blog can come across as an immense amount of complaining and well yeah that is basically what they are. But it is in that loving, hilarious kind of complaining you do, like when your wife continually breaks wind in bed! Enjoy!

We left you as we had just finished our time in the tiny town of Bijapur - our next stop was the not so tiny town of Mumbai which houses around 12 million people! We were originally dreading Mumbai as our minds conjured images of a dust filled shithole, and while certain parts of Mumbai may fit this bill we were completely blown away by the tourist areas of the city. There were parks everywhere, the streets were spotless, the people were friendly and the restaurants were amazing - needless to say, we were both incredibly surprised!

It also turned out that we were spending longer in Mumbai than we had hoped after some logistical shuffling due to a major tourist attraction we were planning to visit just happening to be closed on the only day we would be there... classic India!

Being such a massive international city our first stop was Starbucks for some coffee, cake and free wi-fi. We spent the next few days strolling around the sites of Mumbai. The city itself has a touch more of a European feel to it which made for excellent eating! In between gorging on tacos, cake and waffles we managed to check out the Gateway of India and the immensely impressive Taj Palace Hotel. We took in some culture at the Mumbai City & Price of Wales Museums, ate more waffles and took an adventure to Elephanta Island which was a classic Indian experience.

To get to this island we had to take a ferry which was by no means an eventful one and was relatively easy to organise. We made our way out to the island which houses a series of temples that were carved out of the rock that the island is made of - after a walk around the island it was time to board our ferry back to Mumbai. Everything started off without incident, we found our ferry, it started moving and everyone was happy. We then proceeded to pull up at a port that was not the one we had originally started at, in fact it was an absolute stink pit of a fishing dock in the middle of absolutely no where! Upon asking the "captain" of the vessel where on earth we were we were simply told that there had been a problem without any elaboration as to the specifics of the problem or how to get to where we needed to go... classic India!

The Gateway to India & The Taj Palace Hotel

The world's biggest laundry ghat - 1026 people hand washing clothes

The next stop on our journey was quite the change from Mumbai. As a matter of logistical convenience we found ourselves in Ahmedabad. To be blunt, there wasn't an awful lot going on in Ahmedabad, we jumped on another arm pit reeking, suspension-could-probs-do-with-a-squizz public bus to check out the Akshardham Temple, which from what we could tell was a semi-cultish set up in honour of a rather impressive gentleman who travelled around India performing miracles. On our way home we stopped by an ashram where Mahatma Ghandii set up shop for a few years leading up to the Indian revolution.

Upon departing Ahmedabad we took the cheap, intrepid traveller option and paid $4 for a 6 hour tourist bus to Udaipur which went about as well as you would imagine. The bus picked us up 1 hour late, stopped about 1300 times and instead of taking the advertised 6 hours, it took closer to 9... classic India!

The dreadful bus trip aside, as soon as we arrived in Udaipur we fell in love with the city. It's a small touristy town on the edge of a lake with amazing views and an excellent selection of restaurants which was becoming a must for us! Rajasthan definitely has a different feel to it than the rest of India. We spent a few days lazily strolling around town checking out the City Palace Museum, the Haveli Museum (which contained the world's biggest turban!), the hotel that features in Octopussy and even caught a sunset at the Monsoon Palace! It was also in Udaipur that Tom ate something yet to be identified and proceeded to be unable to be further than 45cm from a toilet at any time for the better part of 2 days. On the plus side, he is now looking quite slim!

A rare couple shot in Udaipur City Palace - also pictured is Tom's hair which controls itself now...

Udaipur Palace - not designed for the husky gent

Haveli Museum - KG in a room full of puppets - spooky!

Udaipur Palace - Tom with the world's largest turban... supposedly

Token picture of a pug at a restaurant in Udaipur

After a slight rearrangement of our plans due to Tom's rather "explosive" illness we had to cancel our plans to visit Pushkar and head straight to Jodhpur and it's incredible Game of Thrones looking fort! Upon arrival in Jodhpur, it was Katherine's turn to play her own Games of Thrones, and by Throne I definitely mean toilet as she was too stricken down with illness. Our 4th wedding anniversary was a memorable one, with Tom still not 100% and Katherine closer to 0%!

Once we were both up and running again it was time to venture out and see some of Jodhpur. Our sole activity for our three days in Jodhpur was a visit to the previously mentioned Mehrangarh Fort. The visit to the fort was amazing, it was absolutely massive and has an incredible history! After a few hours of being outside we were both completely knackered and so returned to our den for some rest.

Mehrangarh Palace - Jodhpur

KG really, really enjoying the audioguide at Mehrangarh Palace

Our next stop was the tourist haven of Jaisalmer! Getting there was quite the adventure, we decided a train would be the way to go for this journey - but it just so happened the train we were after left at the uber-sexy time of 4:50am. We asked our hotel to organise a rickshaw for us but were told that we wouldn't have any issues finding one even at the time of the morning which made sense because whenever we don't need a rickshaw they are everywhere you look ready to pounce on you at the slightest sign of looking lost. So as you have probably guessed, we left our hotel at 4am and crickets... not a single rickshaw or person for that matter to be seen... anywhere! Luckily, after a half hour walk through the dark and deserted streets of Jodhpur we found a rickshaw and made it to the train station in time to find out our train was running 90 minutes late... classic India!

With both of us back firing on all cylinders we arrived in Jaisalmer and packed in as much as we could in the few days we had there. We opened our account with a visit to the Jaisalmer Fort which similar to the one in Jodhpur was absolutely massive and incredibly impressive, the major difference being that people still live in this one! We strolled around the winding streets, looked out over the fortress walls upon the small desert city that was Jaisalmer and then capped it off with a tour of the museum. It was also here that Katherine decided she had enough of being married to Tom and planned to divorce him and marry a German bakery instead; we ended up eating here everyday that we were in Jaisalmer. On our second day we commandeered another scooter for the day - Lil' Sebastian - and visited the royal tombs of Bada Bagh, the creepy deserted village of Khuldara and the informative but slightly wacky Jaisalmer War Museum.

Jaisalmer Fort

KG's submission to next month's Bikes N Babes magazine

Tom wrestling Lil' Sebastian out of a car park

A poorly taken selfie featuring the third member of our travelling party - Tom's beard

It was also in Jaisalmer we went full tourist and embarked on a 2 day camel safari in the desert. We left town at the crack of dawn and had breakfast out in the desert, cooked on a small camp fire by our guide Mula. We were then introduced to our camels - Tom's whip for the day was Johnnie Walker and KG was riding on Lalu. After a 3 hour ride we set up shop for lunch which also turned in to a 4 hour nap in the shade to beat the heat. As it turns out neither of us are destined to be camel jockeys as a week later we are still struggling to walk and KG is convinced that her pelvis has separated! We spent the night literally sleeping under the stars, our bed consisted of a tarp on the sand dunes with some blankets as a mattress with our sleeping bags - it was absolutely incredible, a really cool experience.

KG showing off her photography skills - Johnnie Walker resting up for the big day ahead!

KG chatting with the local dogs during our rest for lunch

Tom being mobbed by sheep during our rest

KG looking very Laurence of Arabia on Bubblegum, the replacement camel

Johnnie Walker stopping for a drinks break - not pictured: Tom's shattered pelvis

A broken man gathering himself after a long day in the saddle

We made our way back to Jaisalmer the following day and checked in to our surprisingly classy guest house where we proceeded to watch English TV and only leaving to visit KG's new spouse, the German bakery - or Jaisalmer's only and surprisingly excellent Korean restaurants.

From here we only have 3 more stops - Jaipur, Agra and Delhi - before we hit Nepal for a month of momos and walking!

The Yeah/Nah Index

This is something a bit different as we try to put some actual content in our blog - the Yeah/Nah Index is simply a Yeah or Nah verdict on whether we would recommend the cities we have visited to other people. Behold!

Mumbai - Yeah (careful of where you stay though - it gets pretty grim, pretty quick)
Ahmedabad - Nahhhhhhh
Udaipur - Defs Yeah
Jodhpur - Yeah
Jaisalmer - Yeah

India Pt I: We're going to chapati like it's 1999

We would like to start this post with a disclaimer: We have a love-hate relationship with India. It is probably the most infuriating country we have ever travelled to, but also quite possibly the best. Some days are like this...

But most days are awesome. Travelling India is like a being smacked in the face with a dead fish, then winning the lotto. One moment you want to cry, and the next you think you could stay forever. So take our whinging below with a grain of salt - India is difficult to explain!

We started our Indian travels in Fort Kochi, Kerala. Our initial plan was to stay for a few nights then do a houseboat cruise further south. Being the intrepid travellers (we think) we are, we hadn't bothered to book any of this in advance. We soon discovered that we had landed smack bang in the middle of high season and a public holiday. All the trains were full, which meant an involuntary extension of our stay in Fort Kochi. 

We filled the time with a day cruise of the backwaters near Alleppey. It was a fabulous day out - calm blue waters, local villages and birdwatching. That is, until Tom stepped through the bottom of our boat. It was confirmed: India is simply not designed for the ample gent. 

Cruisin'' the Kerala backwaters in an old rice barge

All smiles shortly before 'the flooring incident'...

We also tried our hand at cooking some local Indian dishes. The end product was ultimately a success, although this probably had more to do with the instructor than the students. I managed to grab a scorching hot pan handle about 15 seconds after I was told not to touch it, then proceeded to fling rice hither and yon across the cooking surfaces.

Meena and I cooking up a storm in Fort Kochi, just before I burnt myself and flung rice everywhere.

We then headed to Mysore. This was our first taste of overnight trains in India. Unsurprisingly, Tom didn't fit in the beds, but overall it was quite a pleasant experience.

2AC overnight train complete with the 'grump sack' (i.e. bags of snacks so I don't get hangry)

The main attraction in Mysore is the Mysore Palace, which was very impressive. Unfortunately no photos allowed inside, so these will have to do:

Mysore Palace - not bad summer digs

I have nothing to add here...

In anticipation of our upcoming trek to Everest Base Camp, we thought we should attempt the 1 hour walk up Chamundi Hill. Needless to say, we had severely overestimated our fitness levels. We promptly checked we were insured for high altitude medical evacuation.

Hanging out with my mate at the top of Chamundi Hill.

We also took a day trip out to Srirangapatna by local bus and tuk tuk. We soon lost all romantic notions of experiencing the 'real India' by travelling by local bus. It smelled like dead fish and armpits, and was about 1000 degrees inside. We had the tuk tuk to ourselves, but it wasn't much more spacious.

Stretching out in our Srirangapatna tuk tuk

We really started to get into our curries in Mysore, and the etiquette (or lack thereof) of lining up for tables. This involves loitering at someone's table and staring at them intently until they finish their meal, then ingeniously sliding into their seat before they have even left the table. I did get a craving for a taste of home though, and broke out the Vegemite for its debut appearance on the trip.

Chowing down on a chicken biriyani served on a banana leaf

Vegemite and cheese sandwiches in the making

We then headed off to Hampi, which had the most incredible scenery so far on our trip. We hired a scooter (sorry Mum) to check out the scenery while dodging cows, goats, pigs, ducks, stray dogs, pedestrians, trucks, buses, bicycles... you get the picture. We spent plenty of time by the ghats, where everyone washes their clothes and elephants (ok, just the one elephant).

Long day in the saddle for this old boy

Tom becoming a local hero after retrieving a stray cricket ball

Lakshmi heading down to the ghats for her morning dip

Checking out the ruins around Hampi (and trying not to fall off boulders)

Next it was time for some rest and relaxation on the beach at Goa. We seriously did nothing except eat and swim for five days. Not much to report I'm afraid.

Reluctantly, we headed off to our next stop - Bijapur. Now, when we decided to go to Bijapur I may have been a bit over-excited about getting 'off the beaten path'. Let me assure you, Bijapur is as far off the path as I need to go. The town was a dust bowl, and we were staying government-run hotel which turned into a booze den for middle aged Indian men after 8pm. We were a walking circus act - stares, hellos, photos and handshakes everywhere we went. However, most people were lovely and the sights in Bijapur were actually really impressive.

Golgumbaz in Bijapur

Ibrahim Rouza in Bijapur

Mingling with the locals: 'Do you have a son?' Me: 'Hahahaha. No.'

After Bijapur, we are off to Mumbai and beyond. Stay tuned!